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The Framily Plan is a new series at Society Church all about learning to lead and leave behind a legacy of faith in our families and friendships.

The Forging of Friendship: Friendships must be forged with intentionality.

1 Samuel 20:1-3-  David now fled from Naioth in Ramah and found Jonathan. “What have I done?” he exclaimed. “What is my crime? How have I offended your father that he is so determined to kill me?”

“That’s not true!” Jonathan protested. “You’re not going to die. He always tells me everything he’s going to do, even the little things. I know my father wouldn’t hide something like this from me. It just isn’t so!”

Then David took an oath before Jonathan and said, “Your father knows perfectly well about our friendship, so he has said to himself, ‘I won’t tell Jonathan—why should I hurt him?’ But I swear to you that I am only a step away from death! I swear it by the Lord and by your own soul!”

Forging Friendships takes Vulnerability = Humility + Honest Communication

  • Forging Friendships with Vulnerability takes humility-  Humility is not thinking less of ourselves, but thinking of ourselves less often.
  • Forging Friendships with Vulnerability takes Honest Communication- An honest give and take of thoughts, ideas, and details.

Forging Friendships takes Loyalty =  Faithfulness + Commitment

1 Samuel 20:4 “Tell me what I can do to help you,” Jonathan exclaimed.

Loyalty- a strong feeling of support or allegiance. Commitment to step in and not allow one another to come to ruin.

Proverbs 17:17- A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.

  • Forging Loyal Friendships takes Faithfulness-

1 Samuel 20:30-34- Saul boiled with rage at Jonathan. “You stupid son of a whore!”[d] he swore at him. “Do you think I don’t know that you want him to be king in your place, shaming yourself and your mother? 31 As long as that son of Jesse is alive, you’ll never be king. Now go and get him so I can kill him!”

32 “But why should he be put to death?” Jonathan asked his father. “What has he done?” 33 Then Saul hurled his spear at Jonathan, intending to kill him. (Envy infects not just those we are envious of but it affects and infects all of our relationships) So at last Jonathan realized that his father was really determined to kill David.

34 Jonathan left the table in fierce anger and refused to eat on that second day of the festival, for he was crushed by his father’s shameful behavior toward David.

  • Forging Loyal Friendships takes Commitment-

1 Samuel 20:42 At last Jonathan said to David, “Go in peace, for we have sworn loyalty to each other in the Lord’s name. The Lord is the witness of a bond between us and our children forever.” Then David left, and Jonathan returned to the town.[f]


The faithful friendships that we forge support us in the wilderness Seasons of life. 

1 Samuel 22:1-4- So David left there and ran to the cave of Adullam. When his brothers and all those of his father’s house heard about it, they went down there to him. Then everyone who was in trouble, everyone who owed money, and everyone who was not happy with the way he was living, came together to him. He became their captain. There were about 400 men with him.

David went from there to Mizpah of Moab. He said to the king of Moab, “I beg of you, let my father and mother come and stay with you until I know what God will do for me.” Then he left them with the king of Moab. They stayed with him all the time that David was in his safe place. The man who told what will happen in the future, Gad, said to David, “Do not stay in this strong place. Leave, and go into the land of Judah.” So David left and went among the trees of Hereth.

Our Faithfulness in the wilderness determines your harvest in the next season.

 Faithfulness has been defined as a prolonged obedience in the same direction.


“Everybody- at least everybody who has anything to do with God- spends time in the wilderness, so if its important to know what can take place there. Wilderness is both a geographical fact and a spiritual metaphor. It was for Moses in the Sanai wilderness; it was for Jesus in the Judean wilderness; and it was for David in the wilderness world that he inhabited for most of ten years. Since we can expect, sooner or later, to experience the wilderness. I think that its important to get a feel for the country, find out what happens in this austere place, become familiar with the way God works in the wilderness. Our first impulse, nearly always, is to escape the wilderness. What I want to do is convert that escapist impulse into a biblically conditioned embrace of wilderness. By steeping our imagination in David stories, we come to expect not only the worst but also the unexpected best in the wilderness.” Eugene Peterson, Leap Over a Wall

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