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The Framily Plan is a new series at Society Church all about learning to lead and leave behind a legacy of faith in our families and friendships.

CS Lewis in his book “The Four Loves” says- “To the Ancients, Friendship seemed the happiest and most fully human of all loves; the crown of life and the school of virtue. The modern world, in comparison, ignores it.”

The Foundation of Friendship- Friendship must first be Found

David & Jonathan

1 Samuel 18:1-4 After David had finished talking with Saul, Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself. From that day Saul kept David with him and did not let him return home to his family. And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. Jonathan took off the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his tunic, and even his sword, his bow and his belt.

CS Lewis in “The Four Loves”- “Friendship arises out of mere Companionship when two or more of the companions discover that they have in common some insight or interest or even taste which the others do not share and which, till that moment, each believed to be his own unique treasure (or burden). The typical expression of opening Friendship would be something like, “What? You too? I thought I was the only one.”

  • Faithful Friendships
  • Frunships
  • Fair-Weather Friends

The greatest friendship killer we must learn to disarm and dismantle is ENVY

Envy creates frenemies

Saul & David-

1 Samuel 18:9-11 9 So from that time on Saul kept a jealous eye on David. 10 The very next day a tormenting spirit[b] from God overwhelmed Saul, and he began to rave in his house like a madman. David was playing the harp, as he did each day. But Saul had a spear in his hand, 11 and he suddenly hurled it at David, intending to pin him to the wall. But David escaped him twice.

Ecclesiastes 4:4- Then I observed that most people are motivated to success because they envy their neighbors. But this, too, is meaningless–like chasing the wind.

James 3:16- For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.

How to defeat, disarm and dismantle envy:

  • Don’t compare Journeys- You have been given grace for your journey not someone else’s
  • Don’t expect Life to be Fair- You don’t want “fair”
  • Be overcome by a greater friendship than that with this world


John 15:12-15 says- 12My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. 14You are my friends if you do what I command. 15I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.

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